I am very lucky xx

6 Days to go until I get married....eeekkkk

Still got a few things to do due to only coming out of hospital on friday. I have been ill & off for quite some time. Marv has looked after us all bless him. He came to the hospital nearly everyday mainly twice a day to see me & bring the kids etc.

They haven't stopped my seizures yet but I am remaining hopeful that they will. Its been quite an emotional time for me. I have been off work for some time then managed to go back for a week before ending up in hospital for over a week. I know that I have to take my time & not rush back this time. Even I have accepted that I may not be able to go back for quiite some time.

whilst in hospital I had time to reflect on what is important and whats not in my life. I saw a lovely lady deteriorate over the week. Alltho she was unable to move herself she called for the nurses when I had a seizure & looked after me. I had the opportunity to say goodbye to this lady before her family took her home for the remaining time she had left. I cried when she went. Another patients son was coming in each day just before meal times to make sure his mum got food she liked and the fed her, freeing up the nursing staff which they were grateful for. His mum has terminal cancer and I know that knowing you are going to lose your Mum is heartbreaking. He had been looking after her at home but the latest events left her in hospital & he had to face up to the fact that she will not be going home again. Even tho he was going through hell he was cheerful and helped other patients if they needed something eg they dropped something, needed food cutting up. He was another person who called the nurses for me when I was unable. He really is a lovely man. We had a good giggle along with another patient and was coming up with songs for my wedding including shaking stevens, All shook up, hippy hippy shake etc. It lifted our spirits and we became glad to see him arrive altho it was seeing Marv & my girls that made me smile the most. Everytime they left I wanted to cry. 


To see people going through different things but still helping each other makes you realise that there are some lovely genuine people out there. Its something we tend to forget these days.

On our wedding day not only shall I be thinking how lucky I am to be getting married but how lucky I am to know such lovely people.  know I am very lucky to have Marv & my gorgeous girls along with family & friends.  I may not be completely healthy but there are alot of people worse off than me. 


I am truely thankful for what I have got. Marvin I love you so much and marrying you means so much to me, I am avery lucky lady to have you. To my gorgeous girls I love you more than you will ever know. My family & friends, I love you all too and even tho we may not speak or see each other all the time you are always in my heart.



Thats it for now. Take care xxxxx

how I feel...

How I Feel???

Well firstly I need to get you upto speed on things.

We get married in May. Got my dress & bridesmaid dresses altho 2 need to be altered. Most things are sorted but there are still so much to do!!!!!
I'm excited but also slightly stressed. Hen Nite is sorted due to my fab friends.

So I should feel on top of the world??? 

2 weeks ago my partner had to ring for an ambulance for me as i was in so much pain and had facial droop. I was admitted to A & E where the staff were so busy there was a queue to get seen. To my surprise I was told my friend Deb was one of the wonderful staff whom looked after me. I was admitted to the ward where they were able to give me more pain relief. After alot of doctors & nurses the diagnosis I have I been given is hemiplegic migraine. Once home I spent nearly a week constantly sleeping, unable to speak properly not eating or barely drinking. After a change to my meds I'm now picking up but havent had a day where I havent collapsed so far.
I have to thank Marv so much for looking after me and our girls.

So How am I feeling ......
Scared of Marv getting fed up of me, anxious about what happens next, excited because I am marrying the man who I love, Mainly I feel drained & like I'm letting everyone down. I know my family and friends are there for me but i wish I wasn't like this.

I love my Family and would be lost without them.


I don't want a perfect world but a few days of feeling great would be lovely ..........


I LOVE MY FAMILY & MY MAN XXXXXXX

Want to go home

Ever sat at work in a room full of people and wished you was at home??? Well that's how I've felt all day. After being poorly all weekend I could really do with some piece n quiet. Not long left now as I finish early.
Got a busy afternoon planned. Just want to go sleep ..... I'm such a boring grumpy person today :-(

Hospitals

Why is hospitals are either rd hot or freezing????
I'm sat here watching my daughter sleep freezing my butt off (that's alot of butt freezing going on). I've got my coat wrapped round me n I'm still cold bbbrrr if I don't warm up soon I'm icing her out of that bed n climbing into it poorly or not lol

However I am also thinking I am very lucky to be watching her sleep after seeing her in so much pain over the past few days. It breaks my heart to see one of my kids suffering n I can't make it better. If I could take the pain away I would. On the plus side she seems slightly better but we will see what happens tomorrow.

As many of you will know I have alot of experience when it comes to hospitals. It becomes a whole new experience when it's one of your kids in here. I am used to being the patience which after the past 2 days is a whole lot easier than being the relative. I can know appreciate more how Marv n the girls feel when I'm in here. Plus I can understand how Yasmin is feeling.
Let's hope she's out for the weekend so we can all relax and catch up on our sleep lol

I love my family more than anything in the world and it's times like this that make you appreciate what you have got. The last few years haven't been the easiest but together will can cope. I guess it shows what a strong unit we are.

Gosh aren't I being soft this morning lol right onto other things ....
16 weeks til the wedding arghhh so much to do.... The diet as gone out the window over the past few days but back on it when madam gets home.


Well I think I have become quite annoying on twitter today and GOOD I want to be. If the past few days have shown me anything its how important our kids are. Now I can't imagine how it must feel to lose a child. The worse pain ever and yet some people refuse to tell the truth n help a parent move on. Yes I refer to Kevin Williams mum.
All she wants is the truth yet she's had to fight for years to try and get it. Surely it's just the right thing to do???? Too many people trying to save their own skins are causing this woman and others like her to suffer endlessly. Please please please take time to sign the petition (link below) and help ease her and many other families suffering. The Hillsborough disaster is something many of us will never forget for one reason or another but let's show that together we can make a difference. Xxxx

https://twitter.com/neilmellor33/status/159748172900601857

Been a while

Well its been a while since I last wrote on here. So here goes.....

As alot of you know I had a stroke about a month ago. The CT scan showed a blood clot on my brain and I have had a MRI scan which I am waiting for the results. It was awful for both me and my family. Fortunately I wasn't in hospital for long but it feels like I missed the whole of October. I am trying to take things slowly and get my life back to some kind of normality. I'm also still undergoing tests for other health conditions. I feel like my body is just falling to bits so to speak lol. I managed to go back work yesterday which was great but I then slept for the rest of the day & most of the evening.

Enough of the illness talk...

I am going slimming world to try and shift some of this flab. I have lost half a stone so far but have come to a stand still so need a kick up the butt. I want to get back in the gym and get my fitness levels up again. I also want to start jogging but that will need a VERY good sports bra ha ha ha ha

I started christmas shopping this week... why are teenagers so difficult to buy for??? I have a few ideas but it was so easier when they were little. I can't wait to get the xmas decs up and make the front room all cosy :0)  

Its the weekend yyaayyy but I havent got anything planned except spending time with my beautiful family. I''m currently acting like a teenager and chillin in my bedroom :o) I've got the movie channel on in peace & quiet..... bliss


thats it for now take care all xxx

ups and downs

Hi everyone

Its been a rollercoaster ride recently regarding my health. 

I recently had food posioning and was admitted to hospital where they kept me in for 4 days. The plus side I lost about 10 pounds in weight the bad side it left me in an awful lot of pain. I was sent home with liquid morphine on top of my regular medication. After being discharged I had to go to see my gp who sent me for a ultra sound scan. You forget how uncomfortable these are lol desperate for the toilet I was wriggling round the chair in the waiting room thinking any minute there will be a puddle lol. They were very thorough even did an internal scan which was awful. There was a plus side tho, they let me go toilet first which made the whole thing alot easier lol. Then came the waiting for the results...... I hate waiting for results.
The results was not what I had expected. I thought it was going to be gall stones but the answer I got was Polycystic Ovaries. Now the waiting begins yet again....... well not as bad as it seems. As I am writing this my appointment as arrived and I'm being seen in August so very pleased with that. Now to see what happens next.


I did have some good news on the health front. The pain management clinic have decided I am able to control the pain as much as poss so have discharged me. I can go back to them if I need to but they said it would be better for me to get on with my life rather than keep going there to which I couldnt agree more.


We had a lovely weekend away. We went to a place called Heacham. It was fab even tho most of the weekend was spent getting soaked due to our beautiful summer weather lol. We did manage to make it to the beach on 2 of the days so that was fab. We visited Hunstanton and Cromer. We must have walked miles but enjoyed every minute of it. I wasn't well on the sat nite and ended up going bed early but it couldn't be helped.
Yasmin entertained us most of the weekend hee hee she had won a football on the first day and everyone teased her all weekend with it pmsl even video'ed her sulking and chasing Keanna and put it on facebook hee hee. We let the girls go off for alot of the time and spend their pocket money which they enjoyed. 
Whilst on the beach on the sunday morning I discovered Kite Surfing. Its mad. Me and Charlie stood there for ages watching these guys surfing. They did stunts and made it all look so easy. I had never seen or heard of it before. Then we seen the Kite Surfing competition in Hunstanton. I could have stayed and watched them all day. 


Its my last week off work, back to it next monday. I may have some fab news about work soon but not saying anything on here yet lol


Yasmin turned 16 last friday which made me feel very old lol. She is going college in september. I also have no kids left in primary school now as Keanna moves up to New college in september. Theres going to be alot of changes in septamber in this house lol 

Well its my birthday in a few weeks so hoping to be well enough to go out and celebrate in style. Out this weekend as a practice run so we will see lol. The outfit will depend on whether I am having a preggers day or not as you can see from the pics. No idea why this is happening but its everytime I eat something. With me who knows what else is wrong its easier to say whats not wrong with me these days pmsl



Anyway thats enough from me, Marv says its sounds like I've been writing war and peace ha ha ha ha 


Take care all
xxxx

Some of my sockmonkeys

Here are some of my sockmonkeys. I'm loving making these monkeys and am always trying to make each one different.

I've been having abit of a shit time recently and making these monkeys help me switch off and escape. I am trying to build up some stock and also make different types.

If anyone wants to place an order then feel free to contact me
xxx