Friday, 17 May 2013

Never too old to change

Recently I have been thinking of everything that's happened in my life. There are many things you can not change but you can learn from them for the future. We have all treated someone in a way that hurts them at some point & you can't change that but you can learn from it & not do it again. 
I have learnt to appreciate things people take for granted such as walking, beable to use the stairs, picking something up of the floor etc. BUT I have learnt new tricks too. I can pick more stuff up with my feet now

Monday, 29 April 2013

Past year

Past year

So much as happened within the last year or so its madness. Its nearly a year ago since I married my wonderful husband & over a year since I became ill. My health has got worse over the year to the point where I spend alot of time in my wheelchair. BUT at least I'm still here.

Marv has been amazing and become my full time carer. its meant he has had to give up so much to look after me. We have both lost our social lifes but we have each other. I know its sounds all mushy but its true. At 3am when I am in pain or had a fit and need medication its Marv who will get up and fetch it for me. Hes the one who cuddles to when I'm sobbing in pain etc. My girls are amazing too they all know what to do when I have a seizure & when I knock myself out due to the fall. They will fetch anything I need and do the best they can for me. I have a truly amazing family.

I seem to have lost friends along the way. I know I dont go out anymore or can really go visiting very easily. Most of the friends that used to text, go out drinking with me, etc have drifted away. I am not saying this in a nasty way at all because they must think shes not gonna come out anyway so no point asking, or she has enough to deal with so I cant ring her. 
In fact having someone ring me to talk to me about their life is a great thing for me because it makes me feel like I'm still part of their lives. People can visit me altho sometimes I'm not upto the visit so maybe it might have to be rearranged.

After being in home all the time seeing someone else is really nice for me. Some days I am upto going out for lunch but I can not confirm it a week before. A text the night before or that day is the best way for me. I know its not always the best thing for everyone. I am not feeling sorry for myself I just want people to know I am still me. My health condition may change what I can do but I am still the same person inside.

Today was the funeral for Anne Williams. For anyone who doesnt know her she was an amazing woman who fought to get justice for the 96 victims of the Hillsborough disaster. Her son was amongst those who died. She fought with such spirit and passion even after developing cancer. I never met her personally but she is an inspiration. God bless her xx

We support the campaign "justice for the 96" in anyway we can. Marv nearly went to that match but for some reason or other he wasn't able to go, for which I am truly thankful for. 

well thats enough for today. After reading everything that as flowed out on this blog it shows how much we all have to be grateful for.
We all act in ways that hurt each other at times but its never too late to change & try not to behave in such a way.  

Wednesday, 13 February 2013


Hi Everyone

After a few problems with some people I feel the need to express myself in regards to my facebook statuses. I know I shouldn't have to but I feel like its something I have to do for me. 

I have written about my health problems before and have recieved alot of understanding and support. However I have recently been accussed of trying to get people to feel sorry for me. This is not the case. My health problems are severe enough to affect my daily life. If I write on my facebook that I am in pain or have had a bang to the head etc it is for me not for sympathy. I do it partly for people to understand my conditions plus to reassure other suffers that they aren't alone with their suffering. I have never expected sympathy nor do I want it. I write my statuses  just like everyone else does to express how I am feeling. I am still coming to terms with just how much my health problems are effecting not just mine but the whole familys daily life. I am now classed as disabled and need adaptions making on our house to enable me to beable to do things easier. This includes things I have always took for granted like being able to get to my bed or the toilet.

Unfortunately I have discovered some people have taken the opportunity to cause trouble for me and my family. I don't know if they think that because I am now disabled I will sit there and take it but  it seems they think they can do and say what they like about me & my family. I am still the same person maybe a little quieter but I won't let anyone hurt my family. 

At the moment I do feel that I can not write how I feel on my facebook in case people really do think that I am after sympathy and are fed up with it. 

If anyone does feel this way I would prefer they told me or just delete me. Stress makes my seizures worse so I don't need any drama in my life (well apart from having teenagers lol ) 

Well on a happier note I have rediscovered my love for cross stitch and this is relaxing whilst creating some lovely pictures. I'm hoping beable to get my current cross stitch project done soon so I can then start a more challenging project. I will also be doing a few smaller projects along side it so I don't get bored :-)

Its snowing again and whilst most children will be happy mine aren't lol. They seen the weather report and said "not again" lol alot different from when they are at school where it is "great". They are enjoying the school hols and even behaving lol 

As always I would love to hear your feedback on this blog xx

Tuesday, 8 January 2013

New year New Plans

Happy New Year Everyone

This year I hope is going to be kinder for us all after a mixed emotional 2012. We have plans for this year and are going to make them happen.

I am still experiencing seizures which my neurologist can no longer help me with although he has referred me to Queens Medical Hospital to another neurologist who has an interest in my condition. Unfortunately due to the mix of my conditions it as resulted in me having to use a wheelchair quite alot and my crutches daily.

I'm on a mission to lose weight this year too due to the risk of me having another stroke is very high. I also need to lose it so I can have treatment for one of my conditions. I'm taking it one day at a time & not putting too much pressure on myself.

This week we will have an indication of what our plans will include or not. 

 Marv bless him is my carer as well as my husband. I love him to bits and can't thank him enough for what he does for me. I know I have given him a few scares lol. I also scare myself too.
He picks me up whenever I fall, wipes my tears away whenever I cry and ultimately puts up with 
my snoring hee hee. We have had so many trips to hospital its unreal. The latest was friday when I had a few seizures and it left me with no feeling or strength on my right side. I had facial droop, visual impairment and was unable to speak. I was terrified I was that I was having a stroke. The paramedic was there within 2 mins of NHS Direct saying someone would be coming. He checked me over and agreed that I needed checking out at the hospital. I took a trip to A & E via an ambulance. We were waiting for approx a hour & half to be seen in which time I slept for a hour. When I woke I was starting to feel alot better and once the doctor reassured me it was down to my condition I was discharged. I was so glad I wasn't admitted because I know I would've been kept in over the weekend. It was lovely to be home in my own bed :-) It took til sunday for me to feel better and restore full feeling & strength. I did as I was told and rested. It also gave me time to finish my Mother in laws present. It was meant to be for christmas but with being poorly I didnt finish in time. She finally recieved it Sunday evening lol.

I stitched this for her. It was enjoyable altho the beading was a pain in the backside lol. Worth the effort tho. I also stitched a present for my father in law.

This took time to start to show progress. There was soooo many shades of grey in this. Once the backstitch was done I was so proud of it. I was even tempted to keep it lol. We knew my father in law would love it. He was so pleased to receive it. Its lovely when people appreciate just how much hard work goes into these projects :-)

I received a lovely surprise on saturday from my friend Wendy.

I wasn't expecting this at all. Her words in the card brought tears to my eyes. I have already started the kit :-) I will post pics when I have finished altho after stitching on 14 aida stitching one on a 18 count is very different lol. I love it so will keep stitching :-)

Thats it for now. Take care everyone xx