Thursday, 23 December 2010

Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve

wwwooohhhoooo its christmas eve already. I can't believe how quick this year as gone. 
Its our second christmas together and sssooo looking forward to it. 

I've been awake since 6.20ish after having a good nites sleep thanks to Diazapam. I was in so much pain I couldn't cope anymore so popped one of my pills and slept great. The pain isn't too bad at the moment either but its normally worse in the evening after being on the go all day. It does help when I do my impression of Bambi on Ice lol went down like a sack of spuds lol I was lucky my taxi stopped when he did because my leg went under the car so it could've been a different story. 

Marv had a close call too after having a blowout on Beggars lane on Weds in that snow. He made it work and got it sorted but I'm just grateful he wasn't hurt.

All pressies have been got and anything I've forgot then tough lol Just got beer shopping to do today and visit my Mum. Wish she was here to share christmas with us but thats one christmas wish I wont get. I know shes here in my heart so thats the best thing that I can cling too. 

I've got a few extra bits to wrap up today so need to get that done then chill out n start celebrating lol 

I'm hoping its going to be a good one and hopefully the new year will be a better one for us all.

Merry christmas everyone & I hope we all have a fantastic new year xxxxxxxxxxxx

Saturday, 18 December 2010

run up to xmas

Well its not long til christmas, I hope you are all ready for it.
Me??? well not quite but I will be soon. Just a few bits to sort and wrapping to do then the partying can start.

I'm so happy that I get 2 weeks off for christmas yyyiiipppeeee alot different from last year.
I'm hoping that this will be a wonderful christmas with family and friends. I'm hoping everyone will have a great christmas and that we get to spend time with both family and good friends. 

After a very difficult year I'm praying for next year to be a good year for us. I know my health will be the same but maybe I will be able to deal with it more positively. I know when I feel sorry for myself I have got friends who will kick my butt lol and this I love them for xx

In regards to my health the MRI results came back. Not too bad to be honest. My compressed disc is now slightly prolapsed too so now I have 2 prolapsed discs and a compressed one.
I have to see my GP for my other problems as these are not being caused directly by my back. So its the whole referral process again but heyho they might finally sort me out lol

I'm planning on getting back to the gym after christmas to work on my fitness and hopefully shedding a few stone lol 

well thats it for now but be sure to keep an eye out for my next blog and please feel free to leave your comments as they help me alot xxxxxxxxx

Monday, 6 December 2010

ssooo tired

I'm sssoooo tired so its just a quick update

Had my MRI scan now waiting for the results but don't know when that will be because the hospital is messing me around. I just want sorting n my life back.

Had a lovely evening with Miss Norton on sat. Nearly a bottle of voddie later and we were still giggling lol only ended because I was knackered... theres a shock lol
Can't wait til sat nite, its gonna be lovely catching up with a few friends.

Well xmas tree is up and most of the shopping done so soon I will beable to start enjoying the festive season :o)

Well can't be arsed to write anything else so catch ya all laters

Take care xx

Saturday, 27 November 2010

decorating, driving & life

Hi all

Well its been a while since I did my blog.

We are still decorating. Front room is nearly finished as is the hallway. The kitchen is coming on a treat. We have got a lovely range cooker & a dishwasher so things will be easier in there soon. Marv's doing a wonderful job.

I restarted my driving lessons with my old instructor Phil. Hes lovely and the lesson was fantastic. It was like being in the car with an old friend. Can't wait til next weeks lesson.

I had my MRI scan this week. I managed to stay calm this time unlike the first one I had. I sobbed my socks off that first scan. This time I just concentrated on my breathing. At least its done and now I have to wait for the results in 2 weeks time.

I've got mixed hopes for the results. Part of me wants them to find something has got worse to explain the reason for my symptoms but the other half of me wants it to come back the same as before with no further problems. 

I just want to get sorted out and start living my life to the max. I hate being restricted. Its affecting all parts of my life now. I'm going to have to get stair-rail on the wall to help me. 
The snow is lovely but it affects me badly. I have been in an awful lot of pain today to the point I was crying in the car. We were meant to be going out tonite but I can't manage to go anywhere. It does bring me down but hey it could be worse... at least I can walk.

Well christmas is creeping up on us and I still haven't finished my pressie shopping. Need to get it all done soon coz its driving me nuts. The decs will be up next weekend then maybe I will feel more christmassy. 

I do wonder about some people whom think its ok to let people down whenever they feel like it. Can they really be so selfish??? its shocking

Off to watch X-factor.... omg Wagner pmsl
why would you vote for him??? its like someones sleazy uncle at a wedding pmsl 

well I gonna go and laugh at him some more lol

Take care everyone and feel free to comment or just say hello 

Thursday, 11 November 2010

anxious & feeling down

I'm feeling very anxious and down at the moment. 

I knew that I had been referred to the back specialist urgently but wasn't expecting a phone call calling me in to see him the next day. 

I now have to have a MRI scan before next weds when I see the specialist again. Yes its fab that they are doing something but its very worrying. I will be glad when its all over. There are obviously more problems going on than they thought. I just hope they sort things out soon. I'm sssoooo fed up of being in pain.

On another subject, I hope everyone did their 2 mins silence today. Alot of people died for our country and are still dying. Regardless of your opinion on the whole war subject 2 mins of your time once a year is not too much to ask for. Everyone did it at my work place but I know there were a few people who didn't.

Unfortunately there are still some people trying to cause trouble. Someone is meant to be trying to fight my battles. I have never needed a man to stick for me before and I'm not about to start now. Like I don't have enough going on right now.....

Well the decorating is coming on a treat, Marvs doing a wonderful job. Its going to be lovely. The living room and hallway is being done at the moment. So we are still living upstairs at the moment. Good job we have tvs up here lol. Its not going to be the end of the decorating tho as the kids rooms are going to be done in the new year. 

Not sure what else to put so gonna say good-night now 

Sunday, 7 November 2010

Bonfire nite

Bonfire Nite

Wow we had a great bonfire nite. We went to a display with the whole family. The fireworks were wonderful and then we let chinese lanterns off. The kids loved them.

As normal I have the pleasure and pain problem... pleasure watching fireworks with the family.... pain last nite and today.... its always the same. I managed without any crutches or the wheelchair which I was so chuffed about but prob should've used them. I want to beable to enjoy my life without pain but I know thats not going to happen. I guess its a case of getting a balance. 

Things aren't great for me mentally at the minute. I am feeling very down & fat. I finally told Marv how I felt yesterday. I know I will get there in the end but its a hard fight. I just wish I could be "normal" whatever that is ha ha ha... Well I have to get on with things regardless. I'm so lucky to have Marv and my girls because they are what keeps me fighting on.

I've done the ironing today whilst Marvs been decorating. I finally finished it all and couldn't move afterwards. Poor Marvs still got loads to do before its done.

Still living upstairs whilst the decorating is going on. Its gonna look wonderful when its done. We have even started thinking about the kitchen next lol. I have been chilling watching tv for a while. Got super nanny on now and it makes my kids look angels lol. I can't believe how these kids on tv behave... omg I'd wanna kill em lol

Its not long til christmas and I have soooo much shopping to do... I have managed to start but am way behind. I would have liked to be nearly done by now but heyho it will get done on time as always lol.

Well thats it for now I guess. take Care  xx

Friday, 5 November 2010

decorating and bits & bobs

We are living upstairs at the minute. Its not as good as it sounds trust me lol.
We are decorating well Marvs doing most of it altho I did spend wednesday glossing the hallway. I really enjoyed it but the usual thing happened and I was in so much pain that I couldn't move by the evening.Its difficult not being able to help. I want to enjoy painting etc but I can't because the outcome is too painful.I have to admit I am excited about how its going to look as we have got a new fire to put in as well. Its lovely and its remote controlled yyyaaayyyy lol.

With the pain in mind I was a good girl when I went asda with my best mate, Claire and her son Bailey. I used one of those electric scooters. I thought I did fab seeing as I only crashed 4 times ha ha ha ha. I nearly took a corner display out too lol. When I first started it up I couldn't steer it to save my life. Claire was giving me directions in between laughing her head off at me lol.

The only down side was once I got on the scooter I seemed to become invisiable. People walked in front of me, into me or just stopped in front of me. I was getting quite pissed off. Next time I'm gonna crash into them, then they will bloody move lol.

I have treated myself to a new cook book. Its the 30 minute meals by Jamie Oliver. Nice and quick dinners are always a good thing to me lol. There are quite a few recipes I want to try once I get the kitchen back lol.

I didn't get on very well with slimming world so struggling to lose weight now. I am tempted to go back weight watchers but I don't stay to meetings so begrudge paying to be weighed. It will be so much easier when I can do some exercise on a regular basis. I hate being this big. Its no good for me mentally or physically but I guess its something I need to get my head round and pretty quick too else I'll be even bigger. 

I heard from Occy health today. I have to ring them on monday to speak to the relevant person but hopefully I will get my full assessment and get some more help. I could do with a few more bits to help make my life easier around the house. Mind you it will be good to hear about my referral. It was meant to be urgent but I won't hold my breath lol. My body just seems to be getting worse and I can't do anything about it. As long as I don't lose my marbles.... ooooppppssss abit late for that hee hee. 

I guess thats it for now but hopefully next time the decorating will be done so might have some piccies 
Thanks for reading. Have a lovely weekend and take care xxx



Thursday, 28 October 2010

quite worried

I'm quite worried as I went Docs yesterday and have been referred urgently to the back clinic again as I have been having a few problems. I also have to get my knee checked out as its swelling up and really painful. I am also having episodes of a floating feeling. 

I don't know whats happening with me anymore. I can't even manage to walk docs and back anymore. I wasn't even 10 mins into the walk when the pain became awful. It took 2 hours to get there and back which is alot longer than normal :o(

I am off out today and then to see Hot stuff tonite which I am looking forward too but I know I will suffer tomorrow for it. I just hope I can get through work without messing up. 

I know Marv gets angry with me for pushing myself so much but I need to exercise to lose weight which will then help my back.... also it will help my depression. I feel fat and very useless at the minute. I want to get back to my old self where I like myself and enjoy myself. 

I love my life because I have a wonderful partner and kids. I have some amazing friends so I know I should be grateful for that and I am honestly. I just want to live like a 36 yr old instead of a 76 yr old. I want to beable to moan that I'm going or been to the gym again lol I want to beable to party on a sat nite without being in pain all day sunday without it being a hangover lol.

I've had an awful few days and I hope things will start looking brighter soon
Take care and thank you for reading my blog xx

Sunday, 24 October 2010

sunday relaxation lol

Sunday relaxation... I wish lol
We went out last nite and was up nice and early. We went and got our laminate flooring, paint etc and also found a fab bargain. Got a carpet for the stairs and hallway at a great price. I'm gettin very excited about the decorating. I have painted a patch of the new colours to see what we think and its a def YES lol. Its going to look amazing. We looked at some doors and some of them were over £200!!!! with my lot??? I don't think so lol

Kids decided they want to swap bedrooms so that as been going on all afternoon. What a mess... I have left them to it after being told off for moving stuff around. I've had orders to rest so thought I would nick the laptop for half hour.

My back is pretty bad today. I should really have used my crutches as when we was out I nearly fell twice due to the pain. The pain shooting down my legs is doing my head in, just wish it would stop for a while at least. This is the price I have to pay for going out and having a little boogie. Worth it??? not too sure lol. 

At least I didn't drink enough to get a hang over lol. I'm hoping the birthday pair didn't have too much of a hangover this morning hee hee. We got them some Champers and some candles. There was written instructions saying they could only open the champers when they were alone and the candles were lit. Its just nice to have time for each other and that itself is sometimes the best pressie you can have.

I just keep remembering how lucky I am being able to move at all and that I have an amazing family. We might not be rich but we all love each other and that is worth more than any amount of money.
I love my life and think my health issues make me a stronger person mentally. I have some amazing friends and I love them to bits.

Well I can't hear any screams so the kids aren't killing each other or Marv hee hee. Its going to be a few days before upstairs is in any sort of order.

YYYYYYAAAAAAYYYYYY kids are back at school tomorrow so that means me & my bitach can be ladies who do lunch again lol.

Take care everyone and remember a smile can brighten up the dullest day :o)

Saturday, 23 October 2010

cccoooolllddd bbbbrrr

Its so cold bbbbrrrrr

All the summer clothes have been put away n all the woolies put to the front of the wardrobe lol 

Well I am having my usual problem.... going out tonite and what do I wear??? As most of you know since my relapse I have put on alot of weight so not feeling too confident. I'm sure I won't give a shit after a few drinks :o)

This week as been a battle in more ways than one. Firstly my back & my knees have been hurting an awful lot. One knee is swollen so not sure whats happening there. Secondly I have been subjected to shit stirring again. I have deleted one person off facebook as he admitted what he had done but I have also deleted a second person due to her being named and me not wanting to go through it again so if neither are on my facebook then neither can be accused of shit stirring via that.

Facebook is meant to be abit of fun where you can catch up with family and friends, old school friends, work mates etc..... so why on earth do some people take joy in causing problems for others through it. I know we all have a rant but really why would you go out of your way to cause trouble??? I can't understand it. 

I'm no longer going to take any notice of what crap people want to say. I was very close to letting them win and deleting my blog but why should I when its helping me in many ways.  Its kind of sad that their lives are so boring thats what they have to restort to...

Going to a joint 40th birthday party tonite. I'm hoping they like their pressie. Its going to be nice to see people from work in a more relaxed mood. 

WWWOOOOHHHOOOO we going to start decorating tomoz. Got lots to do before we can even start painting. I am so excited, the front room as been the same for years, pre-divorce, so it will be a new look for us. We have chosen it together so it will be our front room if you know what I mean. The hallway is next along with the kitchen having a lick of paint then on to the girls rooms.

I'm hoping I can get involved in the actual decorating altho I do know I'm limited in what I can do. Anyway thats it for now. Please leave your comments for me so I can get some feedback on how you think its going.

Wednesday, 20 October 2010

got broad shoulders for a reason lol

I've got broad shoulders for a reason and its a good job too.
I'm starting to get fed up of peoples digs over my problems. I don't choose to have a very bad back. I would def give up my pain tomorrow if I could. Its not something I enjoy but I am learning to accept it and live with it.

I feel everytime I get on my feet there are people who want to kick me back down. Altho that hasn't happened this time because I don't care what this person thinks or says but it does piss me off. Maybe if I stayed in my wheelchair then people would believe me but because I fight to be independant and am lucky enough not to need the wheelchair all the time I'm subjected to this kind of crap. 

As many of you will know I have been experiencing back pain for ten years and its been worse over the past 2-3 yrs. During that ten years I went college, worked at nite, then went onto uni to do 2 yrs nurse training before having to quit due to my health. I just wish people would keep their nasty comments to theirselves. 

Over the past 4 days I have been really suffering and don't need the comments when I'm feeling so low. I have had to double medication to beable to walk and also haven't been sleeping well due to the pain. Last nite I had to have diazapam to sleep but hey it works so I don't mind. 

I shouldn't have to explain everything to everyone. Some people will always have nothing but nasty stuff to say but then in the next breath they are saying how poorly they feel...... 

I am lucky to have supportive friends whom I value very much. My girls and Marv are fantastic and help me when I need it & are always supportive. So I am a very lucky lady. This is what keeps me going everyday. I am on alot of medication which makes it possible for me to move and live my life altho not without pain each day but the fact I can do things makes me very grateful. I think I have a wonderful life and I love my family & friends. What more could I ask for???

So to those people who say nasty, thoughtless things about people who have health problems be it mental or physical, then think before opening your mouths because I'm damn sure you wouldn't like it if it was the other way round. 

Rant over :o)

well its my day off and I am going to rest like a good girl for a change lol. I'm off out tomoz with my best friend so want to be ok for that. Back at work friday then going to a party sat nite. I can't wait. 

On the weight loss front it was 1/2 lb this week so not over joyed. Its focus focus focus for the next week as I only have 1/2 lb to go to reach my first half stone mark. I really want to do this because its not just for my back but for me to make me more confident in myself and also so I can start looking in the mirror and liking what I see for a change. 

Its half term and the kids are being good so far. I got them some cooking stuff and a craft book which they have been using. They are great kids and don't demand stuff all the time. Of course they push things and can be little shits at times but I love them more than anything. 

I can't believe Yaz leaves school next year :-O shes already decided she wants to go to college. Charlie has to pick her options and Keanna will be in secondary school next year.... they are all growing up so quickly aaarrrggghhhh but they will always be my babies lol. 

I'm loving the look of the mini cupcake maker mmmmmm...Lazy yes I know but how much fun will that be lol. Daytime tv lol

Please comment if you want too. I read them all and like that I get feedback. I know there are alot of people suffering in different ways whether its physical or mental and do not say anything. I just want people to understand how it affects peoples lives. I'm very lucky to beable to get around and work. I have alot of support but not everyone is as lucky as me. If anything I put in my blogs can help even in a little way then its all worth it. Writing my blog helps me in many ways and knowing you read it encourages me to carry on. Sorry if any of it bores you but they are not always so serious so bare with me 

Many thanks and take care everyone xxxxxx

Saturday, 16 October 2010

not a good few days

Not been a good few days healthwise

In quite alot of pain. I spent all last nite and evening in bed and most of this afternoon. I'm currently propped up by a pillow and to be honest not doing so well. Its times like this it drives me mad.

I even turned down abit of retail therapy this afternoon so you know its bad lol. Tonite will consist of a dvd and lots of rest and well tomoz maybe more of the same. Need to be better for work on monday coz I'm not stopping here whilst kids are off school pmsl

I invested in some bakeware wear and a craftbook for this week to keep em busy. They have cake making recipe books so along with the crafts they will be kept busy (lets hope)

Well its only a quick one as not feeling very chatty right now
Take care chat soon xxx

Thursday, 14 October 2010

gets me so mad GGGGGRRRRRRR

GGGRRRRR Why is being a good parent so difficult for some people?????

I'm so fed up of my girls being let down. If its not one its another. SO SO SO FED UP WITH IT!!!!!!

I hate having to watch my girls crying when they are let down time after time. The thing is they will get strong enough to walk away and I can't wait for that day!!!

I spent the day with a very good friend of mine. We have both been put through some shit recently had over the past 2 days we have had a good giggle & heart to heart. She really is a true friend.
Talking of friends, today I finally got to speak to a lovely lady whom I've been "talking" to through facebook. Unfortunately it had to be cut short due to events as mentioned above. It was lovely to finally chat and I hope that we will continue to get on well and meet up for that coffee and natter soon. I might even let Marv buy us a cake too lol.

Had to take the new tv back today :o( it kept freezing. We have downsized to a 40 inch Samsung now. Fingers crossed this one will be ok.

We really need to start xmas shopping because time is going so fast. It will be xmas before we know it. I can't wait til we put the tree up and then it will be nice and cosy. 

Well take care everyone xx

Wednesday, 13 October 2010

really wonders about some people

I really wonder about people at times....
I have been dragged into someones sick mind game. It nearly ruined a 33 yr friendship. This guy tried everything to ruin our friendship including using my disability all because my friend didn't want to be with him. Yes she was at fault for some of it but I can't beleive how sick this guy is!!!! why do people do these things??? Its so sad that their lifes are that crap they take pleasure out of hurting others.... rant over 

Well its the usual thing I'm ok one day can hardly move the next but heyho we just get on with things. I'm going to hobble round today and rest tomorrow. Got so much to do and want to do stuff for myself instead of waiting for people to help me with it. Even doing the washing etc is important to me. 
I know it sounds silly and alot of you prob think whats she on about but its a step to independance again. I'm still using my aids around the house even tho to many I look fine. If I had my leg in a cast, etc people would understand I'm in pain but because they can't see it they find it more difficult to understand or to believe. 
Dont get me wrong I was guilty of thinking the same way before I had my back problem, but having to live with pain makes you more aware of other peoples suffering.

I had a monday from hell. My dad collapsed in the morning then I got dragged into the mind games (as previously mentioned) but it did end on a high... 3 bottles of wine and me & my friend were fine again lol. Altho I was a silly cow when I got home. I took all the stress out on Marv because I was VERY drunk. Its a good job he loves me lol. I have said sorry and hes fine about it. 

My dad is home and fine altho he doesn't listen to what hes told. After leaving the hospital instead of getting a taxi home as told he walks into town for a bus!!! Yes I could slap him at times, its just like having another child lol. I've spoken to him and gave him a telling off not that it will sink in with him. I just dread that one day something serious is going to happen to him. He may do my head in but I love him. 

Slimming world weigh in last nite. I wasn't looking forward to it after all that wine on monday nite lol. I got on the scales and closed my eyes until she said I had lost a pound. Not alot but its coming off slowly. Next weeks goal is at least a pound to reach my half stone mark. I know its not going to come off quickly but as long as it does come off not go back on I don't mind. When I got weighed for the first time I was expecting the scales to say no coach parties lol I had a right shock lol.

All joking aside its so important to me to lose this weight not only for my back but also for me. I want to be an healthy weight and beable to go in a shop and pick something up and not have to worry whether it will fit or not. Also its important for my mental wellbeing to lose the weight as its adding to my depression. I do the usual thing, laugh and joke about my weight but inside I hate it. I don't feel attractive, I don't believe Marv when he says he finds me sexy etc. Many of you will understand how it feels. I know I have a reason for putting weight on but it doesn't stop me crying when I look in the mirror and see how fat I am. Its a horrible feeling.

Well its my day off so going to try and get a few bits done today. Need to fetch my new glasses as mine existing ones are falling apart and only had them in march. The lens is coming away from the frame. So might have to have a look around the shops when I fetch them lol. 

Our new TV is going back to the shop. We're very disappointed in it. We have a 47 inch LED tv but it pauses and plays up all the time so we are going to downsize to a 40inch. The chap at currys was quite good when we complained, mind you like he had a choice with me lol 
We only got such a large tv coz Marv wanted it hee hee. 

I got a new radio after selling my stereo. Its a DAB touch one. Its ssssoooo cool hee hee I love it. I dont tend to play cds very much these days prefer to have the radio or the music channel on. It fits lovely under the tv on the stand. Told the kids its mine not theirs and got told "well its in the front room so its for all of us" flipping kids lol

I have told quite a few people about my blogs and have asked for their feedback. Please feel free to comment on my blogs. I try to make issues heard as well as the usual chit chat. There are alot of people with illnesses who don't say anything about how they feel so if I can get a few points across and make people think then its all good. 

As I have said previously these blogs are here to help me with my disability not to make anyone feel sorry for me. I don't sit around waiting for everyone to do stuff for me I want to be strong and independant. I WILL BE ME AGAIN

Take care everyone, stay safe and be happy xxx

Friday, 8 October 2010


Not agood day for me. I started feeling ill yesterday and its continued today. I feel sick and grumpy. Last nite I even left the club early because I felt so ill.

Work was quiet but ok but I feel so crappy. My back as been killing all day. When I have a few good days I forget how bad it can be. One day can be great but the next day it can be really bad. It affects not just me but those around me. I'm sorry Marvin xx He gets the brunt of it all I'm afraid. It upsets me knowing I do it but I can't help it. I'm hoping losing weight will help my back and they way how I feel about myself too.

I'm quite fed up with hearing about some peoples lifes. If a friend needs me then I'm there for them but I don't think its fair that its all one way. Some people treat others like crap and then moan when they start giving shit back. I really think some people need to get a grip. Theres more to life than that.

We have an action packed weekend planned. Hopefully it will be ok with how I'm feeling. Some good friends are due round tonite so excited about that. I'm hoping to relax at some point over the weekend. 

Well folks I hope you all have a good weekendxx


Thursday, 7 October 2010

sasha pamper treat

AAAWWW Sasha had her pamper session today. Hair cut, nails clipped, washed and fussed. 
She loved it. She looks so different now and sssooooo FAT lol 
I haven't been able to clip her fur for ages due to my back so she was very very furry. Well not now lol gonna have to get her a coat now ha ha ha

Pics are below bless her but she looks fab and so she should do it cost more than a hair cut for me ha ha ha

My back been playing up again but still no crutches yyyyaaayyyy. I'm trying to look after myself with regards to eating and moving around. I'm trying to be more active without making things worse, its difficult but I have to do it. Due to the medication I'm on I have to take lactulose... ooohhhh when that kicks in I know about it lol you need to stay clear when it works believe me pmsl

I have to admit to being pissed off with some so called friends. I have not had any support from them but its different when they need a shoulder to cry on. I'm beginning to think sod em but it is upsetting when I think of everything I've done for them and how far back we go. If its not about them then they don't want to know. The problem is they think I will always be there even tho they have been slagging me, Marv and my choice of engagement ring off. I think I'm a good friend and deserve to be treated better than that. 

The school rang me today and I put in an offical complaint in regards of the way my daughter was treated when there was the fire at the school. After hearing all the procedure this procedure that he finally realised I wasn't going to give up. I explained my point about how the staff treated her and hes going to ring me tomorrow with an update of how the complaint is being treated. 
When it comes to my kids I won't give up. Charlie was really poorly after being around the smoke and I don't want it to happen again. YYAAAYYY watch me go lol I wonder why the school knows me??? lol Telling a child with asthma when struggling to cope with it???? I think NOT silly cow. It makes you wonder what kind of person she is.....

On the plus side I have seen the scan piccie of my very good friends baby aaawwww sssooo sweet. can't wait to meet bump. I've already seen a few things I want to buy lol 


Wednesday, 6 October 2010

good times and headaches

Good times & headaches

Had a good week so far. Weigh in went well, Works going well, got some flowers today and we went to get a new TV.

We got a lovely new tv 46 inch LED and a blu-ray player. So now Marv's busy putting everything together which leaves us with a 32 inch tv & stand in the way. The old tv is going up for sale to get rid. 

I was very surprised at weigh in, was worried about getting on the scales but did it and was shocked to see that I had lost 5 lbs yyyaaaayyyy. So full steam ahead this week to get that 2lbs off for my half stone mark. 

A friend had needed someone to listen to them and because  had been a friend they brought me a bunch of flowers round today. It was a lovely surprise.

Well the TVs up and running so off to enjoy it

Sunday, 3 October 2010

Surprise trip n crap sales assistants

Surprise Trip & Crap Sales Assistants

 Friday I was informed that we were going to watch Notts County play Sheff Weds on sat afternoon. Marv had won tickets from Heart FM. Ok I wasn't overly excited at first but it was a afternoon out with 2 of the kids for a nice change. Normally Yasmin & Chloe are kind of left to their own devices whilst Charlie & Keanna are at dancing. So the plan was to take them with us to watch the footie. 

We had a stroll around Notts which was fun but tiring for me. Yaz and I got a bracelet each from Jane Norman, plus I got a blue scarf. We liked The Victoria Centre even tho Next didn't have my boots there either. We then got a taxi back to the footie ground. The girls were wide eyed as we went in and sat watching it fill up. The crowd banter was amusing for us all. I got quite into the match which was shocking lol. Yaz got abit wet by the guy sitting behind us, he split his coffee over her and wasn't gonna say anything. Well he didn't have a choice when I turned to rub Yaz's coat and gave him such a evil look. He then said Sorry and put his head down. Me being the quiet person that I am then explained VERY loudly to Yaz that had she been a man he would have jump up striaght the way to say sorry, then called him an INBRED!!!! pmsl

Once the match had finished we trailed back to the car which was parked quite close to the ground hee hee it was funny watching everyone walking the long trek back to their cars lol. Anyway, I got in the car and slumped....all the walking and those huge steps in the footie ground had took its toll. Pills were took and once we were at home I went off to bed. After a few hours sleep I felt better but still in quite abit of pain. 

This morning we decided to go Fosse park. Again we attempted to get my boots but yet again they were not in stock. I was told I could order them online but there was no guarantee they would have any either so I admitted defeat and got some different ones. After that we went argos for a new bathroom cabinet. OMG the tarrific was terrible, we thought there must be a sale on over pc world side but after getting through there was no sign of any sale to cause the traffic. Must be everyones pay weekend lol.
A trip to tesco was needed so off we went. Whilst there we decided to go and look at getting Grumpy a TV. So off we went and stood looking at all the TVs. Waiting round for 20 mins before deciding to find a sales assistant. Asked at the counter and was told she would send one..... 10 mins later we gave up and started to leave... until I seen a very grumpy looking fella in a tesco workers suit. I asked him if he was working in the tv department. It seems he had been sent over to us so I explained how we had been waiting for ages and the response was ...yeah? so I said are you going to do us a deal then..... on what?...... on what???? the bloody tv we have been waiting to buy for nearly 30 mins... Well depends which one you want..... on that note we gave up and left. Paid for our shopping downstairs and complained to the something or other manager. She asked us what we wanted her to do, she was lovely I might add, well we replied with kick his arse, punch him and sack him..... do you think we gave her enough choice lol He deserved to be sacked after his performance... he made Homer Simpson look intelligent lol 

SSSooooo we still need to get Grumpy I mean Marv a new TV lol so the search continues....

Weigh in on Tuesday...ooohhhh buggar was being so good til sat then we had a subway n then a pie at footie lol Kids had Pizza last nite and I said NNNOOOO :o) until this morning when there was one left on the side in the box.....I gave in and had one slice :o( ......on the plus side did only have one not the whole pizza lol 

Have a good sunday evening folks 

Wednesday, 29 September 2010

A shock & a kick up the butt

WWow what a shock and a kick up the butt I got last nite. 

I went slimming world for the first time last nite and I knew I had put weight on but flipping hell didn't realise how much. I'm surprised the scales didn't shout "one at a time please" pmsl

I was gutted. Got in the car and cried. Marv bless him took me for a drive then to the sunbed to cheer me up. I got home and read the books, so today is the first day of being good. 

Lets hope I can do this because I hate being this big, yes I know its due to being in the wheelchair etc but it doesn't make things any easier. 

I'm hoping that being off my crutches at the minute will help me lose some of this blubber. I just hope that I don't relapsed again else I'll be the size of 2 buses insted of one hee hee. I'm determine to lose the weight because I don't want anyone throwing water over me when I'm on the beach next year whilst shouting save the whale pmsl. You have to laugh else you will cry.

Works great but I do miss my friends from the chemist. Went to see them yesterday and it seems very strange not working there. 

Well time to play nursemaid to marv coz hes got "manflu" lol 

More from me soon.
Thanks for reading xxx

Sunday, 26 September 2010

sunday bliss

SSunday bliss

Had a lovely day so far.... kids have gone into town shopping and we have popped Next staff shop and then come home n had lunch.

I have been sorting out the clothes that don't fit me :o( there are alot of those. I have put on ssssoooo much weight since my relapse. I really need to lose the weight. The plan is to go slimming world tuesday as I didn't manage to get there last week with the kids audtion being on the same nite. As a goal I have got a pair of FireTrap jeans. Lets hope its not too long before I get into them lol

I had my hair done yesterday. Its now black/brown with flashes of red. I love it. The colour will only last a few weeks so it gives me the chance to keep changing colors :o) I have been feeling awful within myself so it cheered me up but not the Bank Manager lol

Its not all been fun as we had to tax the car.... what a rip off that is...
Mind you its going to be even more expensive when I finally learn how to drive lol

My health is getting better slowly. I think I am ready to go without the crutches for short walks ie around the house etc. The pain is still there but more manageable. Saying that I didn't feel up to going out last nite and fell asleep on the sofa after watching Simply Red. What an amazing show that was. I enjoyed it so much and even had abit of a sing along to it lol 

Well I'm going to chill and also get a jumper coz its FREEZING lol I think winter is def on its way.
Take care everyone xx


Saturday, 25 September 2010

life in general

Just a quick one..

I have had a pretty good week, started a new job and made some new friends

Unfortunately there is always someone or something to spoil it.... Maybe if certain people readmy blog they wouldn't be so quick to judge. I was unable to attend to go out one nite and instead of understanding my back problem I was called behind my back. I was hurt and very annoyed. Some people are so quick to judge but when they are doing the cancelling or don't attend something its a whole different story... I'm sure we all know someone like that...

Well on a plus note I'm going to get my hair done so will be back later x

Monday, 20 September 2010

Meal out

We went for a meal yesterday. We drove around looking for somewhere different. found a lovely pub. It was a lovely place and the food was gorgeous. It was a fantastic time... until............ 

I went to the bar to pay still smiling then when I went to walk out a group of people on the table near the door did no more than all go quiet and stare at me until I was out of the door. It made me feel so bad. I really wasn't expecting it so my guard was down. I got in the car and cried. 

Marv didn't understand how I felt at first but he tried to make me feel better. He tries his best to understand but its difficult for anyone to understand it unless you have been through it.

I know I have stared at people in the past and I am so sorry for doing it because now I know how awful it makes you feel. I was on my crutches not in my wheelchair. When I'm in my wheelchair I expect the stares etc but on my crutches I tend to let my guard down and thats when I get hurt.

I don't know these people and it really shouldn't bother me but I can't help it getting to me. I wish people could understand how awful it makes people.

Well its a new week & a day so I'm gonna put it behind me and try to get back on my feet and not let people upset me. 

I have been getting grief from my ex and his wife for years but today I deleted alot of people of facebook to see if that reduces the bull that is happening. I know some people are so sad that they enjoy causing trouble but I have enough to deal with so from now on I'm going to try and ignore them all.

I have a wonderful partner, beautiful children and some amazing friends and thats all that matters 

Sunday, 19 September 2010

Who knew doing everyday things could be so hard....

Yesterday I decided to do the ironing. Got Yaz to bring the ironing board to the sofa, fetch the iron and also the clothes. She got 3 chairs and put them around the ironing board so I could put the ironed clothes on them. Sounds ideal doesn't it.... ironing whilst sitting on the sofa listening to music... the way I always used to wish I could do it.

Well ideal is not the word I would use, practical but not ideal. now I wish I could stand and do the ironing. I did take on one hell of a job because there was 2 large piles of clothes on the chairs in the kitchen. Anyone who knows me will know I don't do the ironing until there is a mountain of it lol.

I made a start on it at about 11.45am and finally finished around 5pm. It hurt like mad and I couldn't move afterwards but I DID IT yyyyaaaayyyy. Its such a normal thing but I was so happy I found a way of doing it within my restrictions. Not the brightest idea of doing the whole lot but once I started I wanted to finish it. I was in so much pain afterwards that I had to take Oxynorm and Diazipam. Well the rest of the evening is a blur lol. I slept through the the pain but not before rewarding myself with Pizza mmmmm. We was meant to be going to a party but couldn't so was sorry about that. I really couldn't cope with it tho so had no choice really. Its times like that when I get quite frustrated.

Marv has been working overtime this week so had to work all weekend. He got off early today finishing at 1pish. I was so happy to see him and he gave me a huge kiss then turned his attention to the tv and yes you guessed it put the footie on lol. Well at least it means I get to stay on the laptop for longer and hes being quiet... well until he argues with the ref lol.

Yesterday I also used my new bath chair. WOW I could get into the bath so easy with not half as much pain, it was great. I was able to shower by myself. I LOVED it. It amazing how something so simple can make such a difference. 

Well there are no kids at home at the moment. Big uns have gone cinema and Kc is at her dads until tonite. Its nice but strange not having them around. Theres no arguing, no sounds of music banging through the ceiling and no Mmmmmuuummmm. So I have a few hours of peace N quiet aaawwww.

The holiday planning is about to start. We are going with some very good friends. We have sat and talked about where we would like to go and what we want to do so its all systems go and the kids get the final vote....heaven help us lol. We had to cancel our holiday for this year due to circumstances to its nice to have something to look forward to. Altho the year after is when we get married so more planning and saving needed lol . 

As sad as it sounds we have started going up the local working mans club. I always said I wouldn't go up there but its local and easy for me to get around. I can go there in my wheelchair and not have to worry. People are already starting to recognise us and talk to us. I'm aware of how it can be there so I don't tell people my business which sounds weird as its all in here anyway lol 

I start my new job on tuesday so am abit worried how it will go and how my health will be. Hoping to go without my crutches as I will be sitting most of the time but we'll see.

Anyway thats it for now catch you all soon xx

Friday, 17 September 2010

todays a strange day

Well today is a strange day.

I had my delivery from occy health. I am now the proud owner (well borrower lol) of a swivell bath chair, a small chair for in front of the bathsink and a bed lever. WWWOOOOOHHHHOOOO lol joking apart I am grateful for these things as they will help makes things easier for me. 
Anything that helps me is great as it will hopefully help reduce the pain as I won't be putting so much strain on my back.
It does make you think tho and face the truth. I do need extra help so I need to learn to ask for it before things are too bad in the future. I guess its a learning curve, not just for me tho but for others.I hate it when people stare when I'm in my wheelchair or out on my crutches. I know I am prob guilty of doing the same thing. When you are in that position you see things in a different way. 

I had a taxi home from Next yesterday, cost me bloody £10 lol, anyway the driver was lovely and chatty. By the time I got home we both knew how many kids the other one had, their ages, parents names, about our dads etc etc isn't lovely to beable to get on so well with a complete stranger. He made me laugh as he got the whole "crutches" thing out the way first by asking me straight out what I had done. I liked that instead of trying not to notice n making a big deal out of it. It was nice to be talked to "normally" without the aaww ahhhs that I normally get. I know people mean well but its not what I either want or need.

Anyway enough of the serious boring stuff the good news of the day is my Sis is being discharged for the weekend, got to see what happens on monday to see what needs to be done next for her. I love you sis xx

The photos of Chelles baby are online now and he is beautiful, can't wait to have a cuddle with him xx

Can't wait still I'm more mobile because its so boring not being able to do things. I even miss housework.... Yes you heard I miss housework lol. Never thought I'd be saying that lol. Don't worry I'm sure the feeling will pass hee hee.

Thats all for now folks, but thanks for reading my blogs xx

highs & lows

Highs & lows of moving on with your life are very strange.

As I have told you I have a new job wwwwoooohhhoooo BUT this means giving in my notice and leaving my friends. And YES I will miss the boss up to a point. 

I have become very close to my friends at work and some of the customers. Its really sad knowing I won't be seeing them all so often.. My friends and I have said we will make sure we keep in contact and I will make sure that happens. I had a visit from one of them on weds evening. Suze and her family came round and I loved it. It was a lovely time. Harvey had us all laughing along with James and Suze is just so sweet and gorgeous. 

I'm very excited about starting my new job but I did attend the assessment stage for Next, mainly for the experience but also just to see if they offer me the job lol. Well I start my new job tues so I'm very excited but also nervous as it a whole new world to me. I have never worked in a office so I'm looking forward to learning lots of new things as well as putting my existing skills to work.

I have occy health coming out today to bring the stuff to help me within the house. Its going to be nice to be able to shower or have a bath safely on my own. 

Also this week Michelle had her Baby yyyyyeeeaaaahhhhhh but everyone had a shock because we was all expecting a gorgeous little girl but a gorgeous little boy arrived lol Mum & baby are both doing well and are very happy regardless. He's healthy and thats what counts. So a big congratulations go out to chelle and her family xxx

Unfortunately my sis has been admitted to hospital so we are now worrying about her. I can't get to her at the moment but hoping to see her soon. Get well sis I love you xxx

On the health side... I'm still in alot of pain but abit more mobile now thankfully. The change in my meds seem to be taking affect now. I have had to rearrange my accupunture (can't spell) as it fell on tuesdays so now its weds but not til feb as this year is fully booked. When they said that I thought omg theres not long til that dreaded word.... CHRISTMAS lol so now got to think about chrissy pressies. Have got ideas of what I want to get the girls so its just the stocking fillers to think about really. 

I went to the RANGE the other day with my best friend Claire. WOW what a shop OMG there is sssoooo much craft stuff there. I also seen a gorgeous chair which would be perfect for me but costs £500 hee hee got as much hope of getting that as I have of getting the £398 pair of boots I have seen pmsl

well folks I hope you are enjoying my blogs and not getting too bored lol 

Tuesday, 14 September 2010

wow wow wow

After a awful start to the day the silver lining of the clouds started to show. A previous job vacancy which I had been turned down for became available due to events and the company rang me and offered me the job OMG 
I hadn't given them a second thought after being turned down so to say it was a shock is an understatement.

Whilst feeling over the moon after the call Next Directory rang and interviewed me for a customer services job!!! I've got to wait for the outcome of that but OMG wasn't expecting it.

Occy health came this afternoon and did a quick assessment. They are going to provide me with some bits to make my life easier. Also I am going to have a full assessment to see if I can have adjustments made so I can get in & out of the house myself. I am feeling so happy that things are coming together and my life might start getting abit easier for me. 

I also managed to make toast earlier & bring it in the front room. All this is the start of my independence

It might be raining outside but the sun is shining in my world :o)

lets hope things stay on the up folks xxx

Amazing how quick....

Isn't amazing how quickly your mood can change......
I'm waiting for the occy health lady to arrive, just recieved another email saying "thank you for your recent interest in the vacancy but.........." still feeling abit ill so you could say I was really feeling sorry for myself.

I then get a phonecall that changes everything.... as quick as that I'm on the top of the world. After a disappointing week it now looks like things are picking up.

I will reveal everything later after occy health have been and I know more about how things will be for me.

I can't wait to reveal my fantastic news altho yet again many people will not understand the value of this.

Maybe I'm not useless anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, 13 September 2010

wow my second blog in one day

wow my second blog in one day :o)

I am really proud of myself. I have managed to make myself a cup of tea and take it in the front room using my wheelchair. I also brought the spuds in the front room peeled them and then took them in the kitchen added water and put on the hob wwwwwoooooohhhhoooo

I know to many people this will sound boring, sad etc but to someone who hasn't been able to do much for themselves this is a big deal and proves that they are not totally useless.

Even with a little spud water on me I am still VERY pleased with myself :o)

I have also joined a forum for chronic pain to beable to talk to other suffers. It helps you to feel not so alone in things. Yes I have great support at home from my wonderful hubby to be and my girls but no matter how much they try to understand the pain they won't understand it completely.

The nearest description I can give is this..... think of the worse toothache or the worse pain you have ever had.... then imagine it being there most of the time... yes some days it reduces to a dull ache but other days just moving the smallest bit makes you cry or at least want to cry.

You tend to start to get used to the pain but it is still there and affects you mental well being as well as the physical side of thing. 

As this blog goes on I hope to not only share the downs of this problem but the highs too. Don't get too bored with me as I hope to get better at this and share some laughs

Bye til next time Jane xx