Wednesday, 29 September 2010

A shock & a kick up the butt

WWow what a shock and a kick up the butt I got last nite. 

I went slimming world for the first time last nite and I knew I had put weight on but flipping hell didn't realise how much. I'm surprised the scales didn't shout "one at a time please" pmsl

I was gutted. Got in the car and cried. Marv bless him took me for a drive then to the sunbed to cheer me up. I got home and read the books, so today is the first day of being good. 

Lets hope I can do this because I hate being this big, yes I know its due to being in the wheelchair etc but it doesn't make things any easier. 

I'm hoping that being off my crutches at the minute will help me lose some of this blubber. I just hope that I don't relapsed again else I'll be the size of 2 buses insted of one hee hee. I'm determine to lose the weight because I don't want anyone throwing water over me when I'm on the beach next year whilst shouting save the whale pmsl. You have to laugh else you will cry.

Works great but I do miss my friends from the chemist. Went to see them yesterday and it seems very strange not working there. 

Well time to play nursemaid to marv coz hes got "manflu" lol 

More from me soon.
Thanks for reading xxx

Sunday, 26 September 2010

sunday bliss

SSunday bliss

Had a lovely day so far.... kids have gone into town shopping and we have popped Next staff shop and then come home n had lunch.

I have been sorting out the clothes that don't fit me :o( there are alot of those. I have put on ssssoooo much weight since my relapse. I really need to lose the weight. The plan is to go slimming world tuesday as I didn't manage to get there last week with the kids audtion being on the same nite. As a goal I have got a pair of FireTrap jeans. Lets hope its not too long before I get into them lol

I had my hair done yesterday. Its now black/brown with flashes of red. I love it. The colour will only last a few weeks so it gives me the chance to keep changing colors :o) I have been feeling awful within myself so it cheered me up but not the Bank Manager lol

Its not all been fun as we had to tax the car.... what a rip off that is...
Mind you its going to be even more expensive when I finally learn how to drive lol

My health is getting better slowly. I think I am ready to go without the crutches for short walks ie around the house etc. The pain is still there but more manageable. Saying that I didn't feel up to going out last nite and fell asleep on the sofa after watching Simply Red. What an amazing show that was. I enjoyed it so much and even had abit of a sing along to it lol 

Well I'm going to chill and also get a jumper coz its FREEZING lol I think winter is def on its way.
Take care everyone xx


Saturday, 25 September 2010

life in general

Just a quick one..

I have had a pretty good week, started a new job and made some new friends

Unfortunately there is always someone or something to spoil it.... Maybe if certain people readmy blog they wouldn't be so quick to judge. I was unable to attend to go out one nite and instead of understanding my back problem I was called behind my back. I was hurt and very annoyed. Some people are so quick to judge but when they are doing the cancelling or don't attend something its a whole different story... I'm sure we all know someone like that...

Well on a plus note I'm going to get my hair done so will be back later x

Monday, 20 September 2010

Meal out

We went for a meal yesterday. We drove around looking for somewhere different. found a lovely pub. It was a lovely place and the food was gorgeous. It was a fantastic time... until............ 

I went to the bar to pay still smiling then when I went to walk out a group of people on the table near the door did no more than all go quiet and stare at me until I was out of the door. It made me feel so bad. I really wasn't expecting it so my guard was down. I got in the car and cried. 

Marv didn't understand how I felt at first but he tried to make me feel better. He tries his best to understand but its difficult for anyone to understand it unless you have been through it.

I know I have stared at people in the past and I am so sorry for doing it because now I know how awful it makes you feel. I was on my crutches not in my wheelchair. When I'm in my wheelchair I expect the stares etc but on my crutches I tend to let my guard down and thats when I get hurt.

I don't know these people and it really shouldn't bother me but I can't help it getting to me. I wish people could understand how awful it makes people.

Well its a new week & a day so I'm gonna put it behind me and try to get back on my feet and not let people upset me. 

I have been getting grief from my ex and his wife for years but today I deleted alot of people of facebook to see if that reduces the bull that is happening. I know some people are so sad that they enjoy causing trouble but I have enough to deal with so from now on I'm going to try and ignore them all.

I have a wonderful partner, beautiful children and some amazing friends and thats all that matters 

Sunday, 19 September 2010

Who knew doing everyday things could be so hard....

Yesterday I decided to do the ironing. Got Yaz to bring the ironing board to the sofa, fetch the iron and also the clothes. She got 3 chairs and put them around the ironing board so I could put the ironed clothes on them. Sounds ideal doesn't it.... ironing whilst sitting on the sofa listening to music... the way I always used to wish I could do it.

Well ideal is not the word I would use, practical but not ideal. now I wish I could stand and do the ironing. I did take on one hell of a job because there was 2 large piles of clothes on the chairs in the kitchen. Anyone who knows me will know I don't do the ironing until there is a mountain of it lol.

I made a start on it at about 11.45am and finally finished around 5pm. It hurt like mad and I couldn't move afterwards but I DID IT yyyyaaaayyyy. Its such a normal thing but I was so happy I found a way of doing it within my restrictions. Not the brightest idea of doing the whole lot but once I started I wanted to finish it. I was in so much pain afterwards that I had to take Oxynorm and Diazipam. Well the rest of the evening is a blur lol. I slept through the the pain but not before rewarding myself with Pizza mmmmm. We was meant to be going to a party but couldn't so was sorry about that. I really couldn't cope with it tho so had no choice really. Its times like that when I get quite frustrated.

Marv has been working overtime this week so had to work all weekend. He got off early today finishing at 1pish. I was so happy to see him and he gave me a huge kiss then turned his attention to the tv and yes you guessed it put the footie on lol. Well at least it means I get to stay on the laptop for longer and hes being quiet... well until he argues with the ref lol.

Yesterday I also used my new bath chair. WOW I could get into the bath so easy with not half as much pain, it was great. I was able to shower by myself. I LOVED it. It amazing how something so simple can make such a difference. 

Well there are no kids at home at the moment. Big uns have gone cinema and Kc is at her dads until tonite. Its nice but strange not having them around. Theres no arguing, no sounds of music banging through the ceiling and no Mmmmmuuummmm. So I have a few hours of peace N quiet aaawwww.

The holiday planning is about to start. We are going with some very good friends. We have sat and talked about where we would like to go and what we want to do so its all systems go and the kids get the final vote....heaven help us lol. We had to cancel our holiday for this year due to circumstances to its nice to have something to look forward to. Altho the year after is when we get married so more planning and saving needed lol . 

As sad as it sounds we have started going up the local working mans club. I always said I wouldn't go up there but its local and easy for me to get around. I can go there in my wheelchair and not have to worry. People are already starting to recognise us and talk to us. I'm aware of how it can be there so I don't tell people my business which sounds weird as its all in here anyway lol 

I start my new job on tuesday so am abit worried how it will go and how my health will be. Hoping to go without my crutches as I will be sitting most of the time but we'll see.

Anyway thats it for now catch you all soon xx

Friday, 17 September 2010

todays a strange day

Well today is a strange day.

I had my delivery from occy health. I am now the proud owner (well borrower lol) of a swivell bath chair, a small chair for in front of the bathsink and a bed lever. WWWOOOOOHHHHOOOO lol joking apart I am grateful for these things as they will help makes things easier for me. 
Anything that helps me is great as it will hopefully help reduce the pain as I won't be putting so much strain on my back.
It does make you think tho and face the truth. I do need extra help so I need to learn to ask for it before things are too bad in the future. I guess its a learning curve, not just for me tho but for others.I hate it when people stare when I'm in my wheelchair or out on my crutches. I know I am prob guilty of doing the same thing. When you are in that position you see things in a different way. 

I had a taxi home from Next yesterday, cost me bloody £10 lol, anyway the driver was lovely and chatty. By the time I got home we both knew how many kids the other one had, their ages, parents names, about our dads etc etc isn't lovely to beable to get on so well with a complete stranger. He made me laugh as he got the whole "crutches" thing out the way first by asking me straight out what I had done. I liked that instead of trying not to notice n making a big deal out of it. It was nice to be talked to "normally" without the aaww ahhhs that I normally get. I know people mean well but its not what I either want or need.

Anyway enough of the serious boring stuff the good news of the day is my Sis is being discharged for the weekend, got to see what happens on monday to see what needs to be done next for her. I love you sis xx

The photos of Chelles baby are online now and he is beautiful, can't wait to have a cuddle with him xx

Can't wait still I'm more mobile because its so boring not being able to do things. I even miss housework.... Yes you heard I miss housework lol. Never thought I'd be saying that lol. Don't worry I'm sure the feeling will pass hee hee.

Thats all for now folks, but thanks for reading my blogs xx

highs & lows

Highs & lows of moving on with your life are very strange.

As I have told you I have a new job wwwwoooohhhoooo BUT this means giving in my notice and leaving my friends. And YES I will miss the boss up to a point. 

I have become very close to my friends at work and some of the customers. Its really sad knowing I won't be seeing them all so often.. My friends and I have said we will make sure we keep in contact and I will make sure that happens. I had a visit from one of them on weds evening. Suze and her family came round and I loved it. It was a lovely time. Harvey had us all laughing along with James and Suze is just so sweet and gorgeous. 

I'm very excited about starting my new job but I did attend the assessment stage for Next, mainly for the experience but also just to see if they offer me the job lol. Well I start my new job tues so I'm very excited but also nervous as it a whole new world to me. I have never worked in a office so I'm looking forward to learning lots of new things as well as putting my existing skills to work.

I have occy health coming out today to bring the stuff to help me within the house. Its going to be nice to be able to shower or have a bath safely on my own. 

Also this week Michelle had her Baby yyyyyeeeaaaahhhhhh but everyone had a shock because we was all expecting a gorgeous little girl but a gorgeous little boy arrived lol Mum & baby are both doing well and are very happy regardless. He's healthy and thats what counts. So a big congratulations go out to chelle and her family xxx

Unfortunately my sis has been admitted to hospital so we are now worrying about her. I can't get to her at the moment but hoping to see her soon. Get well sis I love you xxx

On the health side... I'm still in alot of pain but abit more mobile now thankfully. The change in my meds seem to be taking affect now. I have had to rearrange my accupunture (can't spell) as it fell on tuesdays so now its weds but not til feb as this year is fully booked. When they said that I thought omg theres not long til that dreaded word.... CHRISTMAS lol so now got to think about chrissy pressies. Have got ideas of what I want to get the girls so its just the stocking fillers to think about really. 

I went to the RANGE the other day with my best friend Claire. WOW what a shop OMG there is sssoooo much craft stuff there. I also seen a gorgeous chair which would be perfect for me but costs £500 hee hee got as much hope of getting that as I have of getting the £398 pair of boots I have seen pmsl

well folks I hope you are enjoying my blogs and not getting too bored lol 

Tuesday, 14 September 2010

wow wow wow

After a awful start to the day the silver lining of the clouds started to show. A previous job vacancy which I had been turned down for became available due to events and the company rang me and offered me the job OMG 
I hadn't given them a second thought after being turned down so to say it was a shock is an understatement.

Whilst feeling over the moon after the call Next Directory rang and interviewed me for a customer services job!!! I've got to wait for the outcome of that but OMG wasn't expecting it.

Occy health came this afternoon and did a quick assessment. They are going to provide me with some bits to make my life easier. Also I am going to have a full assessment to see if I can have adjustments made so I can get in & out of the house myself. I am feeling so happy that things are coming together and my life might start getting abit easier for me. 

I also managed to make toast earlier & bring it in the front room. All this is the start of my independence

It might be raining outside but the sun is shining in my world :o)

lets hope things stay on the up folks xxx

Amazing how quick....

Isn't amazing how quickly your mood can change......
I'm waiting for the occy health lady to arrive, just recieved another email saying "thank you for your recent interest in the vacancy but.........." still feeling abit ill so you could say I was really feeling sorry for myself.

I then get a phonecall that changes everything.... as quick as that I'm on the top of the world. After a disappointing week it now looks like things are picking up.

I will reveal everything later after occy health have been and I know more about how things will be for me.

I can't wait to reveal my fantastic news altho yet again many people will not understand the value of this.

Maybe I'm not useless anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, 13 September 2010

wow my second blog in one day

wow my second blog in one day :o)

I am really proud of myself. I have managed to make myself a cup of tea and take it in the front room using my wheelchair. I also brought the spuds in the front room peeled them and then took them in the kitchen added water and put on the hob wwwwwoooooohhhhoooo

I know to many people this will sound boring, sad etc but to someone who hasn't been able to do much for themselves this is a big deal and proves that they are not totally useless.

Even with a little spud water on me I am still VERY pleased with myself :o)

I have also joined a forum for chronic pain to beable to talk to other suffers. It helps you to feel not so alone in things. Yes I have great support at home from my wonderful hubby to be and my girls but no matter how much they try to understand the pain they won't understand it completely.

The nearest description I can give is this..... think of the worse toothache or the worse pain you have ever had.... then imagine it being there most of the time... yes some days it reduces to a dull ache but other days just moving the smallest bit makes you cry or at least want to cry.

You tend to start to get used to the pain but it is still there and affects you mental well being as well as the physical side of thing. 

As this blog goes on I hope to not only share the downs of this problem but the highs too. Don't get too bored with me as I hope to get better at this and share some laughs

Bye til next time Jane xx

storm's first blog


well welcome to my first blog. I'm not sure what I will include in my blogs so we'll see what happens.

I'm currently coming to terms with the fact that I am classed as disabled. I have chronic back pain due to a prolapsed disc & a compressed disc. My last flare up as resulted in me having to use my crutches again but for the first time a wheelchair. I'm lucky to have a fantastic hubby to be who looks after me when hes not at work. I have 3 beautiful girls who also have to pitch in to help when I'm in alot of pain.

Todays achievement will sound daft to a lot of people but it was fantastic to me. What was it? ....I managed to have a bath without any help. I feel wonderful, yes still in pain but its a step in the right direction.

I forgot to mention that I am 36 yrs old. I was recently admitted to hospital because of the pain and was put on a ward where I was the youngest person. It seems this is expected of older people.

I've looked for forums to beable to chat to other suffers with no luck so if anyone knows of any then please let me know. 

well I think thats it for today
Bye for now xx