Meal out

We went for a meal yesterday. We drove around looking for somewhere different. found a lovely pub. It was a lovely place and the food was gorgeous. It was a fantastic time... until............ 

I went to the bar to pay still smiling then when I went to walk out a group of people on the table near the door did no more than all go quiet and stare at me until I was out of the door. It made me feel so bad. I really wasn't expecting it so my guard was down. I got in the car and cried. 

Marv didn't understand how I felt at first but he tried to make me feel better. He tries his best to understand but its difficult for anyone to understand it unless you have been through it.

I know I have stared at people in the past and I am so sorry for doing it because now I know how awful it makes you feel. I was on my crutches not in my wheelchair. When I'm in my wheelchair I expect the stares etc but on my crutches I tend to let my guard down and thats when I get hurt.

I don't know these people and it really shouldn't bother me but I can't help it getting to me. I wish people could understand how awful it makes people.

Well its a new week & a day so I'm gonna put it behind me and try to get back on my feet and not let people upset me. 

I have been getting grief from my ex and his wife for years but today I deleted alot of people of facebook to see if that reduces the bull that is happening. I know some people are so sad that they enjoy causing trouble but I have enough to deal with so from now on I'm going to try and ignore them all.

I have a wonderful partner, beautiful children and some amazing friends and thats all that matters 
xx