Wednesday, 20 October 2010

got broad shoulders for a reason lol

I've got broad shoulders for a reason and its a good job too.
I'm starting to get fed up of peoples digs over my problems. I don't choose to have a very bad back. I would def give up my pain tomorrow if I could. Its not something I enjoy but I am learning to accept it and live with it.

I feel everytime I get on my feet there are people who want to kick me back down. Altho that hasn't happened this time because I don't care what this person thinks or says but it does piss me off. Maybe if I stayed in my wheelchair then people would believe me but because I fight to be independant and am lucky enough not to need the wheelchair all the time I'm subjected to this kind of crap. 

As many of you will know I have been experiencing back pain for ten years and its been worse over the past 2-3 yrs. During that ten years I went college, worked at nite, then went onto uni to do 2 yrs nurse training before having to quit due to my health. I just wish people would keep their nasty comments to theirselves. 

Over the past 4 days I have been really suffering and don't need the comments when I'm feeling so low. I have had to double medication to beable to walk and also haven't been sleeping well due to the pain. Last nite I had to have diazapam to sleep but hey it works so I don't mind. 

I shouldn't have to explain everything to everyone. Some people will always have nothing but nasty stuff to say but then in the next breath they are saying how poorly they feel...... 

I am lucky to have supportive friends whom I value very much. My girls and Marv are fantastic and help me when I need it & are always supportive. So I am a very lucky lady. This is what keeps me going everyday. I am on alot of medication which makes it possible for me to move and live my life altho not without pain each day but the fact I can do things makes me very grateful. I think I have a wonderful life and I love my family & friends. What more could I ask for???

So to those people who say nasty, thoughtless things about people who have health problems be it mental or physical, then think before opening your mouths because I'm damn sure you wouldn't like it if it was the other way round. 

Rant over :o)

well its my day off and I am going to rest like a good girl for a change lol. I'm off out tomoz with my best friend so want to be ok for that. Back at work friday then going to a party sat nite. I can't wait. 

On the weight loss front it was 1/2 lb this week so not over joyed. Its focus focus focus for the next week as I only have 1/2 lb to go to reach my first half stone mark. I really want to do this because its not just for my back but for me to make me more confident in myself and also so I can start looking in the mirror and liking what I see for a change. 

Its half term and the kids are being good so far. I got them some cooking stuff and a craft book which they have been using. They are great kids and don't demand stuff all the time. Of course they push things and can be little shits at times but I love them more than anything. 

I can't believe Yaz leaves school next year :-O shes already decided she wants to go to college. Charlie has to pick her options and Keanna will be in secondary school next year.... they are all growing up so quickly aaarrrggghhhh but they will always be my babies lol. 

I'm loving the look of the mini cupcake maker mmmmmm...Lazy yes I know but how much fun will that be lol. Daytime tv lol

Please comment if you want too. I read them all and like that I get feedback. I know there are alot of people suffering in different ways whether its physical or mental and do not say anything. I just want people to understand how it affects peoples lives. I'm very lucky to beable to get around and work. I have alot of support but not everyone is as lucky as me. If anything I put in my blogs can help even in a little way then its all worth it. Writing my blog helps me in many ways and knowing you read it encourages me to carry on. Sorry if any of it bores you but they are not always so serious so bare with me 

Many thanks and take care everyone xxxxxx


  1. first of all i wanna say ur blogs dont bore me,im a nosey cow n enjoy reading about ur daily doings pmsl(just kiddin,bout me being nosey cow that is)
    if those people were true friends they wouldnt wanna put u down over ur health probs,let me say u more than likely achieved far more over those 10yrs than they could even consider doing so you should be proud of yourself even though some of the things may not have ended up as you'd have liked,you tried and you got on with things,and u didnt quit because you couldnt be arsed to carry on,it was your health probs that cut you down and made things impossible.
    so if those ppl wanna comment because you never completed the things you set out to do,go poke em in the eye with ya crutches :),they are jealous hating losers.

    to some people getting a snivel is the end of the world and they wanna make sure every1 knows about it,even tho i fortunately dont suffer from any health probs it wud be stupid of me to say oh i know what ur going thru,cus until some1 is actually in that position they have no idea at all,u always put on a front so as not to show ppl how much u are in fact suffering.

    So many ppl take their health for granted and i bet a lot of people if asked if they wud prefer to win a million or have health probs they would choose the money,but what good is that if they dont have the health in the first place to enjoy it with.I said the same thing to a greek friend of mine i regularly chat to,he too suffers similar to you but with neuropathy and has constant electrical surges through his arms and legs 24hrs a day with constant burning sensations and spasms,living with conditions like you and he just make me wonder how you manage to go on each day,and i for one think you both do excellent,he has told me many times that in respect his life was over b4 it began as he been this way since early 20's and all drs ignored it,now its 2 late to do anything except be drugged up and sleep most the time,he agrees now with my comment about good health and now he says if he had a choice when he was younger he would defo pick health over money.

    hope u enjoy ur day out 2mo and dont be put off by the tiny weight loss it will all add up in the end and we will all be size 0 lmfao (well in our dreams i guess)i dont wanna be a stick insect.

    If you ever fancy doing somethin next time u off,i have got dual controls fitted on my car now,so if u fancy scaring the crap outta me and driving with ya eyes shut i fully insured 2 take ppl out,but ill make sure i sellotape ya eyes open so ya cant close em pmsl


  2. ha ha ha ha might take ya up for the driving babes.
    Thank you so much for your lovely comments and all the support you give me. I am very grateful to have a friend like you. I know we don't see each other very often but I know u r there if I need anything and I hope u know I'm there for you too. We'll have to arrange something for next weds if your free xxxxxxxxxx

  3. more than likely i will be around,just w8ing to hear back from a local instructor trainer who is going to finish off what the last crap company never got round 2 lol im hoping he picks thurs or fri as i told him end of the week,but i so gotta get my ass in gear and stop making excuses as i have only a matter of 3mths to take this last test else i gotta start over again from scratch,i keep putting it off and putting it off as i hate role play so much n it makes me feel like an idiot,esp when u instructing a professional who has been doing the job over 30yrs pmsl n i get all tongue tied n forget what i wanna be saying lmao xx

  4. well u can practice on me all you like hee hee xx