Thursday, 28 October 2010

quite worried

I'm quite worried as I went Docs yesterday and have been referred urgently to the back clinic again as I have been having a few problems. I also have to get my knee checked out as its swelling up and really painful. I am also having episodes of a floating feeling. 

I don't know whats happening with me anymore. I can't even manage to walk docs and back anymore. I wasn't even 10 mins into the walk when the pain became awful. It took 2 hours to get there and back which is alot longer than normal :o(

I am off out today and then to see Hot stuff tonite which I am looking forward too but I know I will suffer tomorrow for it. I just hope I can get through work without messing up. 

I know Marv gets angry with me for pushing myself so much but I need to exercise to lose weight which will then help my back.... also it will help my depression. I feel fat and very useless at the minute. I want to get back to my old self where I like myself and enjoy myself. 

I love my life because I have a wonderful partner and kids. I have some amazing friends so I know I should be grateful for that and I am honestly. I just want to live like a 36 yr old instead of a 76 yr old. I want to beable to moan that I'm going or been to the gym again lol I want to beable to party on a sat nite without being in pain all day sunday without it being a hangover lol.

I've had an awful few days and I hope things will start looking brighter soon
Take care and thank you for reading my blog xx

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