Wednesday, 13 October 2010

really wonders about some people

I really wonder about people at times....
I have been dragged into someones sick mind game. It nearly ruined a 33 yr friendship. This guy tried everything to ruin our friendship including using my disability all because my friend didn't want to be with him. Yes she was at fault for some of it but I can't beleive how sick this guy is!!!! why do people do these things??? Its so sad that their lifes are that crap they take pleasure out of hurting others.... rant over 

Well its the usual thing I'm ok one day can hardly move the next but heyho we just get on with things. I'm going to hobble round today and rest tomorrow. Got so much to do and want to do stuff for myself instead of waiting for people to help me with it. Even doing the washing etc is important to me. 
I know it sounds silly and alot of you prob think whats she on about but its a step to independance again. I'm still using my aids around the house even tho to many I look fine. If I had my leg in a cast, etc people would understand I'm in pain but because they can't see it they find it more difficult to understand or to believe. 
Dont get me wrong I was guilty of thinking the same way before I had my back problem, but having to live with pain makes you more aware of other peoples suffering.

I had a monday from hell. My dad collapsed in the morning then I got dragged into the mind games (as previously mentioned) but it did end on a high... 3 bottles of wine and me & my friend were fine again lol. Altho I was a silly cow when I got home. I took all the stress out on Marv because I was VERY drunk. Its a good job he loves me lol. I have said sorry and hes fine about it. 

My dad is home and fine altho he doesn't listen to what hes told. After leaving the hospital instead of getting a taxi home as told he walks into town for a bus!!! Yes I could slap him at times, its just like having another child lol. I've spoken to him and gave him a telling off not that it will sink in with him. I just dread that one day something serious is going to happen to him. He may do my head in but I love him. 

Slimming world weigh in last nite. I wasn't looking forward to it after all that wine on monday nite lol. I got on the scales and closed my eyes until she said I had lost a pound. Not alot but its coming off slowly. Next weeks goal is at least a pound to reach my half stone mark. I know its not going to come off quickly but as long as it does come off not go back on I don't mind. When I got weighed for the first time I was expecting the scales to say no coach parties lol I had a right shock lol.

All joking aside its so important to me to lose this weight not only for my back but also for me. I want to be an healthy weight and beable to go in a shop and pick something up and not have to worry whether it will fit or not. Also its important for my mental wellbeing to lose the weight as its adding to my depression. I do the usual thing, laugh and joke about my weight but inside I hate it. I don't feel attractive, I don't believe Marv when he says he finds me sexy etc. Many of you will understand how it feels. I know I have a reason for putting weight on but it doesn't stop me crying when I look in the mirror and see how fat I am. Its a horrible feeling.

Well its my day off so going to try and get a few bits done today. Need to fetch my new glasses as mine existing ones are falling apart and only had them in march. The lens is coming away from the frame. So might have to have a look around the shops when I fetch them lol. 

Our new TV is going back to the shop. We're very disappointed in it. We have a 47 inch LED tv but it pauses and plays up all the time so we are going to downsize to a 40inch. The chap at currys was quite good when we complained, mind you like he had a choice with me lol 
We only got such a large tv coz Marv wanted it hee hee. 

I got a new radio after selling my stereo. Its a DAB touch one. Its ssssoooo cool hee hee I love it. I dont tend to play cds very much these days prefer to have the radio or the music channel on. It fits lovely under the tv on the stand. Told the kids its mine not theirs and got told "well its in the front room so its for all of us" flipping kids lol

I have told quite a few people about my blogs and have asked for their feedback. Please feel free to comment on my blogs. I try to make issues heard as well as the usual chit chat. There are alot of people with illnesses who don't say anything about how they feel so if I can get a few points across and make people think then its all good. 

As I have said previously these blogs are here to help me with my disability not to make anyone feel sorry for me. I don't sit around waiting for everyone to do stuff for me I want to be strong and independant. I WILL BE ME AGAIN

Take care everyone, stay safe and be happy xxx

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